Far easier to recover from fatigue than to recover our passion, both sexual and creative, in an abusive relationship. It should be no surprise that loss of passion is connected to covert-abuse-induced fatigue. Covert abuse is so draining it doesn’t leave very much of you for anything else.
But covert abuse, also, affects how [...]
Red Flag: Fatigue
Being with covertly abusive people is draining. Self-doubt and anxiety is draining. Tying yourself into a pretzel trying to rationalize other people’s behavior is draining. Fearing sudden reprisals or assaults is draining. Attempting to find coherency among contradictions is draining. Accepting excuses as facts over reality, dealing with lies are all draining.
On Valentine’s Day I want to wish you love, and remind you to cherish your love. Don’t let anyone use that love against you. Because that’s what covert abusers do.
They look for someone strong enough to love, courageous enough to be vulnerable, someone who sees the best in others, especially the ones they love. [...]
Red Flag #1 Disbelief Red Flag #2 Loss of Discernment Part 1 and Part 2
Red Flag #3: Anxiety
With loss of discernment comes anxiety. They walk together hand-in-hand.
If you can no longer tell up from down, when you must depend on someone to define reality for you, when that someone is [...]
Part 2 Part 1 here
If your eyes see that smirk on someone’s face, if you catch those darting glances, if your ears hear the sound of derisive laughter, if every time you approach a group of “friends” you’re confronted by their backs no matter where you stand, if your feet stumble at the hard [...]