Creating Your Reality Part 1 – Use and Misuse

photo by Doug Wheller

Do you believe you create your own reality?

What does that mean…to create your own reality? To some it means choosing how you experience your reality, giving it its ultimate meaning, shaping it or making an impact within your reality.

For others creating your reality goes beyond shaping or giving [...]

Feigning Negative Emotions: Fear

Feigning means to fake, to act “as if”, to pretend. You can fake anything, including emotions. Any perceived emotion or state of being can be used to hide, mislead, seduce or distract.

In themselves, all emotional states of being just are. They can have negative impact if we deny their existence, thereby denying healing [...]

Self-Blame

Covert abuse: the assaults, the pain…did I do something to deserve this?

No.

I could leave it at that and end this post, but I’ll delve into it a little further in case you’re not convinced. And if you’re a victim of covert abuse, chances are you aren’t.

Covert abuse, with its systematic erosion [...]

Self-Trivializing

Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?

When we experience covert abuse, the very subtlety of it can make us feel embarrassed or even apologetic to bring it up. We — and others — may make us feel silly as if we were making a big deal out of nothing.

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Fatigue

Red Flag: Fatigue

Being with covertly abusive people is draining. Self-doubt and anxiety is draining. Tying yourself into a pretzel trying to rationalize other people’s behavior is draining. Fearing sudden reprisals or assaults is draining. Attempting to find coherency among contradictions is draining. Accepting excuses as facts over reality, dealing with lies are all draining.

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